Feeling Numb? Discover Mindfulness tips with A Mindful Path Forward
When we are accustomed to living a life of accomplishment and productivity, it can feel strange, even alarming, when we just feel numb.
Feeling like an observer in our life, rather than the driver, feels disorientating and we often feel like something is going wrong.
Seasonal mood swings, mild depression, and lack of motivation are sometimes common this time of year. The adrenaline junkie in us is finished with the holidays and yet we have a long stretch of open road before we hit those warmer spring days.
Pema Chodran, an American Buddhist Nun, has famously touched on this idea with the image of clouds and the sky. She said:
Whatever flavor we are experiencing right now, it isn't the entire meal. This pattern won't last forever. Just as highly energetic seasons in our life, flow into slower more reflective seasons, our emotional experience also flows and changes.
We can practice bringing more compassionate awareness to whatever we are feeling right now. We can practice caring for our sadness or grief or apathy like we would also care for our aspiration, joy, and sense of fulness. We may even say in our mind: "oh, hello apathy, I see you. It is hard to be with you, but I will do my best to just sit here with you and breathe and listen to what you may want to share with me."
When we practice deep presence, in walking meditation, sitting meditation, or during our daily chores - which we can make a meditation - we allow our mind a refuge from rumination over past events as well as anxiety over future events.
Small daily practices like washing the dishes or tying our shoes can be a
mindfulness bell to invite our minds into a refuge during the current moment. When you drink your tea, take time to feel the warmth of the cup and smell the fragrance. Breathe as you receive this warmth and this smell. Allow there to be an opportunity to receive something in this small moment, regardless of what that moment is.
As we practice deeper presence, let there be space for an increased awareness of life and the many small miracles all around us. When we feel the cool winter wind on our face, instead of just feeling bitter and harsh wind, is there a space where the wind can feeling cleansing and enlivening?
When we take a hot shower, rather than focusing on how little time we have to enjoy the sanctuary of the hot shower, can there be a small space where we just reflect on the miracle of hot water - clean and warm - coming directly to us. How wonderful to feel the sensation of warm water on our skin.
Sanga is the Sanskrit word for community. Finding a supportive Sanga, whether that be in church, family, friends, therapy, is an important aspect of mindfulness.
It often feels counterintuitive to reach out to others when we don't seem to have the energy or interest in our simple daily activities. Finding a Sanga that doesn't require a great deal of emotional energy from you, may be helpful at this point.
In our church community, one of the women in our group recently lost her husband to a long illness. I heard that in her grief, she reached out to another woman who was recovering from surgery and they met up to take afternoon naps in front of the fireplace together. I smile when I think of that kind of Sanga. Perhaps this is the feeling of "Sanga" you are looking for right now - something soft and nourishing.
If experiencing numbness has become your new normal, and you or others recognize that you need additional support, please contact your medical doctor. Consulting with medical and counseling professionals often demonstrates courage and a willingness to initiate change. This is also a form of Sanga.
Love and light to all who are walking this long road or walking along side someone on this long road.
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